BPD Idealization Phase Causes Fantasy Bonding BPD idealization in the beginning of a significant other relationship creates a fantasy bond. People with BPD, not having any stable sense of self, are intense and want (often) immediate "relationship on". After the person with BPD splits you to a major devaluation, you will not ever be able to be re-idealized. People with Codependency (often unaware of this) are very emotionally hungry - needing validation and reassurance (from childhood woundedness) feel fantastic, your feelings in the BPD idealization phase increase your sense of self-worth and self-esteem until the ruptured splits of BPD devaluation start happening. If you are ghosted and/or discarded you've lost yourself so much to focusing intensely on the person with BPD, trying, in vain, to get back to that beginning and how great everything felt. Codependents after a BPD Breakup find it feels next to impossible to not get that idealizing person with BPD back to re-capture the elusive - not ever going to happen again - idealization phase and who you thought the person with BPD was.
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