Are you holding out hope that you can get your BPD Ex back? Like so many people, most with Codependence, many Ex's of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, continue to give so much power and control of their lives, and selves to a person with BPD.
If you really believe that you need to contact your BPD Ex because if they respond angrily or in further devaluation of you then, and only then, they will "force" you into to having to accept that the "relationship is really over?" Your relationship is, actually, already over. If you make contact and reverse hoover your BPD Ex and they devalue you again, you are not going to be able to actually then just move on. You are trapped in the fantasy bond and the deeper trauma bond. Therapy is your only way out of all the pain and rumination.
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